10 easy ways to improve your relationships with people around you
A walk through how to improve the quality of your relationships by 10 easy tips
Offer to help them when they need it
One of the simplest and easiest things to do is to ask them, “Is there anything you need help with?” When you see them feeling down or out of touch, just ask them what you can do to help them. Even if say there isn’t any such thing, making yourself available to someone can go a long way into developing quality relationships.
If you know them for a long time, you are likely to be able to tell how they are feeling by their facial expression, and then all you have to do is ask!
This will also help create a mutual connection. If you offer to help when needed, they are likely to do the same thing. It might seem a sort of good luck if they offer it too but it is bound to happen at some point if it hasn’t happened yet!
Don’t discourage them when they fail
One of the biggest signs of fake friends is that they discourage you when you fail. When people do this the obvious thing to do is to stop trying as a whole. If a group of friends makes fun of you for something you failed at and you want to be a part of them, you will likely stop trying.
If such behavior is repeated it can also result in decreasing confidence of that person. Moreover, if you do this to your friends, at a certain point, they might not want to spend time with you or near you.
The wise thing to do is to encourage them. No matter how badly they embarrassed themselves or how much people laugh at them be there for them and give them credit for trying.
Mostly, listening is the way to go
We are taught to talk by the time we learn to walk, but no one teaches us to listen. Listening is a very underrated skill, it not only tells us what to say but also gives us a chance to learn about the other person. You can never know enough about another person.
Learning about them is half the problem you need to solve to improve the relationship. Listening also tells them that you care about what they have to say, this will make them want to listen to you too. Thus, resulting in a mutually beneficial relationship.
Practice controlling your emotions
The imbalance of emotion is what results in fights in the first place, and fights are mostly what end relationships. This can be controlled if you have your emotions in check.
Before emotions are controlled they must be recognized. Know which emotions you are feeling and know how they affect the people around you when expressed. Don’t suppress emotions, that will not help. A good exercise you can do is to ask people close to you how your emotions affect them and work your way from there.
Keep things positive
It is easy to focus on things that aren’t working well but don’t be part of the majority. Always keep things positive and focus on what is working well. Yes, attention has to be given to what seems dysfunctional to improve it, but the essence of that energy has to be positive, otherwise, it will only get worse. What you focus on you attract, the same is the case here. Try to focus on the positive and then positive things will fall to your feet. An encounter where everyone is smiling is one everyone hopes for and that can easily be made a reality.
Tragic and bad moments are chances to step up the relationship
People don’t understand this but this is very true. Tragic moments are not necessarily meant to destroy anything. Yes, they suck but they have a positive part associated with them. It gives you a chance to show someone how much they mean to you, it gives you a chance to show exceptional character and above all, it is a learning opportunity for every party involved in it. It really is about how you look at it. If you go through such an event as everyone does at some point, don’t ruin the next best thing you have as well.
The point of an argument is not to prove you are right
Everyone gets into arguments and fights. It is easy to lose someone’s respect when you try to devalue their point or put them down by hitting below the belt just to win an argument. Try to understand the argument and a certain line that is not meant to be crossed and don’t cross it. Even the other person crosses it, don’t. Stick to your core principles in fights and arguments. If anything, you will teach them to do the same.
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
The only reason we tend to criticize people around us is to be heard and have someone to lash out on. There is an effective and ineffective way to communicate a message and criticizing is the ineffective one, indeed.
A well-told story was that of Abraham Lincoln and his General Meade. A war was being fought between Meade and General Lee. At a certain point, Lee was trapped and the war would have ended if he was to be captured. Abraham Lincoln ordered Meade to end it and capture Lee. Meade however, began to procrastinate and second guess the decision. This resulted in Lee, eventually escaping.
Lincoln wrote a long letter criticizing Meade and relieving him of his services. That letter was found after Lincoln died. He never sent it. Rather he effectively communicated his reservations to Meade and Meade ended up becoming an amazing general for Abraham Lincoln.
Improve the way you communicate
It was stated in a study that 99% of arguments and fights are due to misunderstood words! It is thus very important to improve the way we communicate. You can do this by thinking of what you say before you say it, primarily in sensitive situations, and by gauging how the other person will respond to you saying that to them. When you do this, you will be able to control the reaction you cause, and that can be very effective. Words can not be taken back after they are said so we should think before they are said aloud!
Another thing to note is that tone plays a vital role. If your tone is meant to elicit a reaction but your words aren’t, that reaction will be elicited. So make sure you control that consciously.
Take an interest in their interests
Finally, this is an easy one to understand. When you take an interest in what interests the other person, they will like to share with you more and more. They will seek your advice and also like to know what interests you and be a part of it. This is not the same as changing your interests. You are not meant to make their interests your interests but TAKE an interest in them. Of course, if you find that interesting too, that is an open door for you to improve your relationship with them, might as well walk into it!