Bullying will not stop and here’s why,
If someone asks you to explain bullying, you may be able to come up with an example if you have been in that situation. But the problem is that there is no definition that we can use. No one really knows what bullying is.
What is bullying? What makes a bully? How do you know if you are being bullied? And if you stop a bully by intimidating him are you bullying him?
The foremost problem of modern society is that most of us tend to make excuses and complain. This dilutes the meaning and magnitude of bullying for people who have to deal with it. Some people exaggerate bullying experiences while others just want some attention. The problem this creates is, it clouds the people who genuinely need help.
But is it possible to completely cut off bullies? Is it even wise?
I happen to believe that we will go nowhere trying to stop bullies from bullying as there are infinite places to do so. But what we must rather focus on is how to deal with bullies. If someone is bullied in school, he is likely to report to the administration about the bully. They might or might not take action. But when this same event occurs in the real world who will they complain to?
There is every sort of controversy when dealing with bullying. Most people will tell you to turn the other cheek. This makes people more harmless and passive. It also leads to depression as the bully manages to establish that he is indeed superior. What you must do is confront the person bullying you. This leads to self-confidence and higher self-esteem as it’ll make you overcome your fear. But then again, this is not practical when you are being bullied by a group of people. In that case, people making policies must generate a remedy.
The Internet has not necessarily blessed us in the bullying age either. It has rather invented a new dimension to it known as cyber-bullying. Celebrities tend to suffer from this a lot. Racial slurs and death threats are just a step towards the daunting horizon. This is further amplified by the fact that anonymous profiles can be made and there is little to no punishment to those that commit that crime.
We must take this seriously. The reason for the unfortunate pessimism is that no one really knows what bullying actually is. This makes bullying statistics very vague and unreliable just as well.
Taking nothing away from the menace of bullying, take a look at these stats;
- In the US 1 in 5 students aged 12–18 are bullied.
How are we defining bullying here? Is calling someone a name, classed as bullying? How is this data collected? Are we asking vague questions like “Has anyone ever made fun of you?”
- Approximately 160,000 teens have skipped school because of bullying.
How do we know the credibility of this data? Again, are we asking questions like “Did you skip school because you were bullied?
- Students who reported that they were frequently bullied scored lower in reading, mathematics, and science than their peers who reported that they were never or rarely bullied.
Students who didn’t do well can attribute that to bullying. And isn’t it true that people classed as nerds tend to get bullied more as they are different? Men especially don’t like to admit they were or are being bullied.
- Labeling an incident as bullying can be important because it influences whether students tell an adult, as well as how adults respond to the student’s report.
Does this mean we can class anything as bullying if it does not resonate with us or we tend to not agree with it? Does this not make relationships superficial at their very foundation? Won’t this result in us not having any frankness with our peers as anything can be classed as bullying and we have to sugarcoat everything so it does not harm them?
- Students are less likely to report bullying as they get older. Only 39% of high schoolers notified an adult of bullying.
Are friends joking around with their mates bullying?
It is easy to say, bullying is offending someone so stop offending other people. But does that make sense? If you don’t offend another person you cannot talk about sensitive issues. This is destined to make us procrastinators in the face of major problems. Not so effective then.
Abuse of power may be a shout but then how are we supposed to stop that? Everyone in the world is likely to experience that. Plus, by some miracle, if you happen to get around that, what is stopping people from concocting stories about being exploited to get what they want.
Won’t this make up a spoiled world where people complain to get what they want? People will start to make this a habit.
Another major problem is that the people in charge of making anti-bullying policies have not experienced prior bullying most likely. They do not know how it affects people and that is not helping anyone.
Bullying is personal for anyone who experiences it making it harder to define as a whole.
Making anti-bullying policies is thus a waste of time. Teaching young men and women how to deal with it, as only they can identify when they are being bullied should be the ANTI BULLYING POLICY. The traditional “turn the other cheek,” and “ignore him,” are not ideal. The point of dealing with bullies is reminding yourself that you are in fact capable and confident enough on your own. That you can defend yourself. If you simply “turn the other cheek” you always have that feeling of, “Is he better than me?” in your head. This is because bullies tend to have more friends and people that agree with them causing the victim to feel secluded and alone.
Labeling people as a ‘bully,’ and a ‘victim,’ like I just did is not doing anyone any favors either.
Calling someone a bully puts a full stop to his identity. ‘He is a bully,’ means he is an ‘outlaw.’ What does an outlaw do? He abuses the law so that is what the bully will do. This is because he feels removed from society and hopeless. Yes, actions must have consequences but even if we are being selfish here, we must give him another chance. Not because it shows kindness, but because if we don’t he will cause more harm.
Truth be told, bullies are more in need of help than their victims. They mostly suffer from psychological problems and lack of love from people. They must be helped as they are the anomaly and reason for imbalance.
Staying on the road of labeling people, calling someone a victim isn’t hitting the jackpot either. A victim is immediately perceived as being weak. They are supposed to get sympathy because something bad happened to them. This makes them believe that life as a whole is unfair to him, due to which they experience this. How likely are such people to reach their full potential? We are making them live in a perfect world that will be destroyed as soon as they get into the real one.
If there were no bullies, so many great personalities would not have arisen. So bullying makes people tougher. That is why rather than making policies or talking about making policies against bullying, young men must be taught how to deal with them as it strengthens them and makes up a tougher and independent generation.
We can’t finish what is bad in this world, but we can tell people how to stop themselves from going there.