The Reason So Many People Are And Will Always Be MEDIOCRE!

Rafay Hiraj
6 min readNov 13, 2021


Have you ever wondered how easy it is to make money right now than what it was, say,100 years ago? Think about it, nowadays you can find everything on the internet. Any skill you want to learn, you have the internet, you have online courses and you have the added advantage of following people that are very successful, whom you can ask the secrets of success. There are a ton of books of hyper-successful people. Why is it, that still there are so many people who fall under the average category and live life paycheck to paycheck or not how they want?

If a person with a very ambitious goal, works at a retail store, he is going to make friends that are his colleagues. So, he will start to identify as one of them. What happens here is, he is spending all his time with these people and everything he is doing is congruent with that. It is rational to assume he will have a lifestyle like them, right? So, what should that guy do? The sensible thing to do is surround yourself with people who want the same things you do. If you want to be a singer and all your friends can talk about is the party that is coming up in a week, get away from them. Similarly, the sensible thing for that person is to quit his job or stay away from his friends and define what he really wants. Don’t get me wrong though, if he needs some cash coming in for whatever reason, by all means, but what he wants to end up achieving should be the focal point of his life.

First things first, and this is something I have heard from Rich Cooper, everyone should start at a bad job or a job they do not want to do. It humbles you, or it might teach you a few things from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. But, it also gives you a sort of a launchpad to go up from.

Dan Peña said this, “Once you stop caring what other people think about you, you become limitless.”

Why do we hang out with people who do not want the same things we do? Because we feel we need to, maybe we think that is the only way to survive. Imagine a life with no friends. Can you even imagine that! What you may be imagining is depression, lack of purpose etc, but what else you may be imagining is a lack of judgement resulting in the freedom to do whatever you want. But is this not weird? We make friends with someone because we like their personality or spending time with them, how is it that we end up so chained and controlled because of it? Because we are making the wrong friends. It is highly selfish to have friends whose end goal is not the same as you, not only are you going astray from your end purpose but you also might be pulling them away from their desired purpose. All the while, doing so just so you have someone to talk to you or validate you.

We have a free life at birth. Why? Because we don’t have anyone to care about! Now, you are afraid to chase your dream because he made you commit to something else. Why? Because you complicated your life making the wrong friend. And let me clear something, when I say, you made a wrong friend, that does not mean, you end up telling them, “I don’t need you in my life,” because you do, it means you minimise the amount of time you spend with them. The more time you spend with them the more you learn from them.


If you want to be a Billionaire, don’t spend most of your time with someone who is waiting for his next paycheck so he can give his rent if he does not have the same goal. If you are not making someone’s life better, you are making it worse by complicating it. Remember that. If someone is in a worse state now (not necessarily financially) than he was when he met you and you have been quite frequent with them, cut them out because there is a chance you are the reason why! This may seem selfish to you, but the benefit is mutual. They improve by you leaving them and you become more focused on your end goal.

Imagine this


This is when you are born, then you grow up and this is what happens;


Here, there are 6 variables and the goal is the same. These are the complications. The more variables you are dealing with, the more distracted you are and the harder it is for you to move to where you intend to. Because now, you have to deal with A, B, C, D, E, F and G to get to 1. Keep in mind, all these variables are everything, not in line with your goal so if you have a business, which you like this does not apply to you. And your goal is to get to 1. So you are complicating things by trying to find A through to G to achieve 1, is it not better to remove all these, and go back to 1=1?

People settle for average due to the distractions in their life and the willingness to pretend to stay comfortable and happy blending in them by being uncomfortable to human judgements that would come as a result of spending time with the right people. If we are blended in a social group that has nothing to do with what we want, we stay happy in it by way of false comparison, We compare ourselves to our social group, and if all of us aren’t doing well we feel okay. This is false happiness as you are comparing people with many different wants. It does not make sense. Almost everyone’s parents tell them to do good in school, some even go as far as to offer presents or incentives to their kids. Why, then, are the people we call ‘nerds’ who are doing or have done what you want to achieve not the type of people we surround ourselves with? Because of the judgement that comes as a result of it.

Ever imagine, why you have the craziest dreams when you are a child and in your last year of college, you are thinking how great it would be to get a job paying you over $90k a month? What changed? Distractions came into play. Money is now your goal, not finding your passion and giving it all you have. Now someone might tell you, you matured and became more realistic. No, you didn’t! Do you think the things you were imagining and maybe envisioning came randomly? They did not! Einstein classed imagination as a preview to life’s coming attractions. Imagination is one of the best gifts and over 95% of us waste it.

I think we need to be taught how to select friends in life when we are kids because many of us suffer due to selecting the wrong ones when we can greatly benefit from making the right friends.

Another reason many people settle for average is that they have a fear of failure or success. This is also, because of the complications we choose to accept. Life is bound to throw complications in your face but it is up to you to accept them. It is your life at the end of the day.

Be selfless by putting yourself first, because focusing on your end goal and one day achieving it, could be what, one day makes a major difference in many people’s lives! You might have the weirdest dream or passion but best believe it can change someone’s life one day, WHATEVER IT IS!



Rafay Hiraj

Self Improvement and Life Lessons