The Subtle TRUTH About LOVE That No One Talks About

Love in the simplest terms is feeling intense affection for something. But the question is where does this affection come from and why do you feel it when you do. Love could be with anything, it is highly arrogant to assume that love is only what you feel with another person. You could love your work, even yourself. Love is deemed to be the most powerful force of nature. Nothing can push you to do something or accomplish something the way love can, it is also true that people who find love in any aspect of their life tend to be happier than others.

Love at a younger age, with another person is selfish. Think about it, we ‘love’ someone who gives us something or becomes indispensable in our life. Young teens don't love someone because they don't understand it. When we do love someone for them and not what they bring to us, we love them because they are better than others. I’ll explain this. Let’s say a boy falls in love with a girl because she is very kind to other people. Well, you may ask, compared to what? Compared to other people, of course. If everyone had the same level of kindness would you love her then? No, and why not? Because her kindness is ordinary. A person cant love ‘just another person.’

Another type of love is self-love. Loving yourself. But, how do you know if someone loves themselves? A common metric is, how much time you spend on your own, but does that mean that if you don’t spend much time on your own, you are not happy? Does that mean there are no happy extroverts? It does not add up. Most people love themselves, right? Well, self-love is impossible. As that would mean liking everything about yourself, which again means you are comparing yourself to others. What do you love about yourself? Anything you say puts you in a category of a social construct made by society. If you were to truly love yourself, you would always be happy and could never be sad, at anything!

Complete love with someone is being genuine to them. Think about this, there is no better gift to give someone you love than being totally and completely truthful with them. To surrender to them. That is love. Love is surrendering to someone else, completely throwing yourself on someone, and hoping they will catch you. And how do they catch you? By accepting you. How many people around you know EVERYTHING about you, starting from the way you think to all your life experiences, and all your imperfections. When you sit someone down and tell them EVERY SINGLE THING about you, then you love them truly and vice versa. But is this not selfish? Completely dropping your burden on someone in hopes they would accept you and pick half of it? No, it is not, if your intentions are pure, and the love is mutual, they will do the same. What happens here is, the burdens of life are split halfway or exchanged. You carry some of theirs and they carry some of yours. This is not practical. Once you are TRULY accepted by someone you need not go anywhere as there are no such things as limitations and judgments in your life.

Why do people say this, ‘I am waiting for the right person?’ Because they are WAITING for the right person. We expect others to put more effort into finding us than we do in finding them. That is not how it works. And, if your love for someone is explainable, odds are it’s not complete. Because, how can you understand love? It does not make sense, at least for us. We tend to love God in tough times because we need His help, if we are having the best times of our lives, we tend to forget Him, why is this? Because our love is selfish and conditional, no love is unconditional other than that of God. No two entities can love each other the same amount, and that is where the selfish aspect comes in.

The truth is you can love anything as long as you are true to it. If your passion lies in your work your whole life will revolve around it and similarly with another person. People say love is rare, but that is not true. Love is the most common thing there is, it runs through us. All you have to do is actively seek it out. Do the things you love to do, try new things, try difficult things but do not stop moving at any cost. Knowingly, jumping in a ditch is better than sitting still.

So, how do we generate love? We generate love through a path of self-discovery. We discover things about ourselves and learn some things we didn’t originally know. Then we fail in several things, move on fail again and again until we stumble on what we have been looking for.

Nowadays, love is so often diluted with lust. Love is a very powerful commodity and it is certainly not one generated from your genitals. It is generated from your heart and if you are not actively seeking it, best believe, what you found is not love otherwise it will be constructed on a piece of falsehood that will tear the whole relationship, be it with a person or some work or even with yourself, down to the ground after the first hefty tide. Being truthful, first to yourself and then to those it affects, is important. It may be hard but it makes everything genuine, which in turn makes it real.

You must have heard, ‘A liar never gets away with his lie,’ why is this? You might even have seen yourself engaging in stupid arguments with someone you have been lying to or have lied to quite often, perhaps totally unrelated to the lie you have told. Maybe you don’t like someone and you don’t know why, well this could be why. This is because when you talk to someone, you are transferring your energy to them. If the energy is negative, they will realize it subconsciously. They might not figure out your lie consciously, immediately, but they will soon and that is because deep down they know it.

Be true to what you believe and don't shape your thoughts based on social norms and other people, because then, how can you trust yourself, and if you can't trust yourself you will end up resenting yourself and that is not healthy by any means.

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I write about life and happiness. Writing for me is a way to make sense of everything.

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Rafay Hiraj

Rafay Hiraj

I write about life and happiness. Writing for me is a way to make sense of everything.

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