Weird personal things happened in my life

And what I learned from it

Life is weird. Things that happen sometimes don’t make sense.

I was pursuing a personal venture. I was decent at it, not the best. DEFINITELY not the best. I thought, let’s try and reach the best.

I did what I thought was logical and looked at the best in the world for that particular topic. I watched videos, analyzed, studied. I then critically analyzed myself. Took mental notes and set off.

BOOM! It ended up becoming the greatest failure for me in my entire career with that venture. It also caused me to criticize myself to the point that I had to relax and catch a break.

The irony! Trying to improve made me even worse.

It didn’t come without its rewards though, I started to show improvement, but I would fall again and again. I decided to continue with what it was I was doing and try to get to the top.

I still haven’t reached it, but I am confident I will.

So why did making more effort throw me down? That question has sat with me.

Here is what I finally accepted.

When I looked at the best, I saw the many things he was considering that I hadn’t batted an eye on. When I started seeing that, I started identifying the errors I was putting out. The many errors began to overwhelm me to the point I started to criticize myself. I grew angry but I came back after relaxing.

I also noticed another weird ball life bowled my way.

People who don’t say much tend to have the most to say. They just happen to keep it in their minds. Maybe because they don’t find the right people to say it to.

It really is about demand and supply.

If you speak a lot, most of what you say just has to be bullsh*t. You don’t recognize the demand, you just sail in for supply.

If you speak less you try to find the demand. If you don’t find the demand, you don’t throw out the supply.

Now, not to flatter myself, but I also speak less. At the same time, I don’t have much to say either. That might be due to my lack of knowledge about countless things.

So what do you do in this situation? Listen is what I came to.

People around me have thrown attention to the fact that I don’t speak as much as I used to do. I have started to listen. I like what the other person has to say. Such has been the case for 3 years now, and it has really improved me.

The world is a library

After trial and error, reading things about this, I have made this my mantra. This has become what I live by now.

Everyone knows something you don’t

Everywhere around us are books. Books in the shapes of people. Everyone is a book. You read what you listen to. If you speak a lot, you are writing before you are reading. That is nonsensical.

Little did I know that speaking less is more selfish than speaking more. But this type of selfishness doesn’t have to be bad. I mean if you end up writing a great book, no one really lost. Everyone now gets to enjoy something brilliant.

No one can survive in another person’s mind

Another conclusion I have come to is that everyone, no matter who has a unique way of thinking.

This is how I originally thought of it,

No one can survive in another person’s mind. Everyone is fighting a battle at all times. We are all fighters. We win a lot but we lose plenty too.

Different manners of thinking give rise to different points of view. The more the merrier.

The battle can be about many things, but they are with ourselves. It can be good, it can be bad. If you enter someone’s mind, you will either be overwhelmed by how much chaos is in there, or you will be underwhelmed with peace.

Peace is not always beautiful, it can be boring. Too much peace might just cause you to light up a fire.

Of course, no one has total peace, that would be more of insanity than a gift. You would go around spiking wars everywhere.

Discontent comes from a lack of meaning

This is something I have experienced a lot in the past years. It can be attributable to a wide variety of things.

I saw that I was unhappy when I had nothing to do. I would just sit around not knowing what to wish for. For me, if I have something to wish for, I have something to look forward to. If I have that I feel happy and excited. The opposite, of course, if I don’t.

A dream excites you.

Remember those family trips back then, remember how excited that got us?

We should all have something to look forward to!

Your mind is a vending machine

When I suffered from this problem I used to complain a lot. A point came where I told myself that it was time to get my sh*t together.

Lo and behold, within a week, a disaster of a year was wrapped up.

I thought to myself if it was that easy why didn’t I do it before. I would go on the internet searching, “How do I find my passion?”

Listening to Ted Talks and reading books and articles hadn’t done the trick for me. What helped me was simply telling my mind what I wanted and believing I could achieve it.

If you believe with all your heart you can achieve something, your mind just happens to forge a way for you. Doesn’t matter how difficult it may seem.

It also makes me think that we humans can achieve anything. Nothing is really out of reach.

Our mind is like a vending machine, ‘asketh and you shall receiveth’

Positivity is knocking on the door, it is up to you to let it in

What really keeps us excited and upbeat is positivity. Hoping it will work for us the way we want it to. It gets us pumped when someone tells us how much we are capable of, as it should.

Negativity is very common. That is no secret.

Literary Devices took a look at the most common themes of famous songs. Of the 5 they recognized, 3 were,

Statements of discontent

Heartbreak

Death

The other two were, Growing Up and Friendship.

Considering how much people listen to music, it is no surprise how it has affected states of mind.

Positivity is very easy to achieve. The subtle act of smiling instantly makes you happier. Just saying to yourself that you will not focus on the negatives at the start of your day makes your day better. Try it!

Generally, people don’t mind flattery- empty compliments

I have been the biggest example of this, for me, for the longest period of time.

People say stuff just to make you feel better, and it works! Temporarily.

Then you realize it and it makes stuff worse. When I realized how I reacted to empty compliments it made me attempt to change it immediately. I then looked at people around me and understood, it was a real problem.

Flattery requires no effort, which makes it meaningless. When it comes to giving a genuine compliment, you have to know a guy, listen to how he talks and thinks, that requires effort. Unfortunately, both are weighed on the same scale.

I think we shouldn’t promise things when we are happy. The same goes with giving compliments. I don’t mean to say be angry while giving a compliment, although that will be effective, I am sure. Don’t be over the top happy. Plus you just know when you don’t really mean something, just don’t say it.

You have to be one with yourself

We all have voices in our heads glorified as thoughts. The way we think defines us in a way.

When we embarrass ourselves, criticizing ourselves is not an unusual thing.

Wentworth Miller (Acted in Prison Break) said, “If you talk to others the way you talk to you, you wouldn’t have any friends.”

Treat yourself with love, it is okay to make a fool out of yourself. Spend time alone with yourself- solitude. Get to know you, what you think, why you think that way, and what you may need to change.

It could go a long way for you, it certainly worked for me.

We chase things the wrong way, we must first be friends with ourselves before we go out to make friends. Learn to accept yourself the way you are. Don’t say, “You fool!”, “You idiot!”, “That was so obvious!”, “Of course, this happens!”

Learn to be calm and peaceful in your head. That is the secret to discipline and success.

We should put more effort into learning ourselves.

Saying less gives you wisdom, when you say less, you listen to yourself more, you get to know you more.

To sum it up

So finally, this is how my imperfect mind made sense of the world.

1. The World is a library

2. No one can survive in another person’s mind

3. Discontent usually comes from a lack of meaning

4. Your mind is a vending machine

5. Positivity is knocking on the door, it is up to you to let it in

6. Generally people don’t mind flattery- empty compliments

7. You have to be one with yourself

Of course, all of these are opinions and definitely not facts. It is just what made the most sense to me.

I would love to know what you think, let me know!